Sunday, September 11, 2011

little man

i know today is a day to never forget
and i haven't.
is an amazing day for our country

it is a little bit different for me

9/11/01 changed so many lives
mine included
changed mine forever
in so many ways, ways i still dont understand
while the world remembers those who we lost to tragedy
i remember the gift i was given

the gift i was given to be in this persons life, the opportunity to be in his presence. september 11th to me is the last night i had with my little guy. it was our last date, just me and him. the last time i had him with me. i wish i could say i remember what i was doing or where i went or what i was thinking that exact night. but i have a general idea.
i was a conundrum
i was peacefully anxious
excitedly calm
weary with strength
i know that doesnt make sense
i was anxious to not be pregnant anymore
i was anxious for him to be home
i was excited to meet him
i had the most amazing little buddy, he was always there. for 9 months. he was there in my heart and in my mind. he kept me company when i was all alone. he comforted me when peace eluded me and something i didn't expect. he loved me. i could really feel it.
it wasn't all mushy, he kicked me lots i poked him back
there was some friction
but i cherish september 11th
see tomorow is his birthday
that little man is turning




half a decade

september 12th is the day of his birth
his birthday
his day
but september 11th is kind of my day
and fitting that the whole world
should also see to it being a day of reverence
what a crazy 5 years it has been
and i hope to be able to express to that little man what he means to me
the honor it has been to know to him and to be a piece of his history
and to have him be a peace of mine.
i dont understand everything or know how it all works
i dont know how he will feel or what the feelings i have mean
but i know i love him
and i know he loves me
not something i expected
or something i was prepared for
but it is the greatest gift
to have the love of a child
to his mommy and daddy
i am eternally endebted
they might just be two of the three nephites
(i think mae mae is the third)
as "my day" ends
little man yours begins

and as i told you when we first met

 it will be a privilege and an adventure to see the places you'll go

 Happy Birthday


Becky said...

Such a gorgeous story Myra. One I haven't heard before! You look amazing in these photos! Seriously! I love ya girl!

c a n d a c e said...

Wonderful & Beautiful Post. Truly incredible.

Miss Myra said...

Thanks ladies. U guys mean so much to me. Thanks for loving and supporting me in all my goings on

The Stones said...

I love it! You are an amazing women! It has been forever, how are you?