it's gonna be a rough few days kids...

it's always hard to put yourself out there on the table

and wait for the blade

will the blade trim off the pieces that need to go

or will it cut into things that are oh so vital

i know i will survive

i know i am super duper tough

doesn't mean i want to do it

at.all.

but i learned something today

i know where i am supposed to be now

(and to my best efforts and knowledge I am there)

and i know where i am supposed to be in the future

and i have

no idea

how to get from A.-B.

but luckily for me its the little baby steps today

that will sort it all out

and freeingly enough

i don't have to sort out that SNAFU

I take my baby steps everyday

every

single

day

(no short task)

i BELIEVE

I WILL arrive

all GROWN up

at MY destination

I know what I am facing,

I know what is on the chopping block

the concept rocks me to my core

but i am calm and i have peace

BUT

I REALLY WANT MY WAY

prayers for me please

and even more for the blade

(66 hours remaining)

I'm

So...

Blessed.

John 16:15

Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you...

(the scripture on the scripture-a-day

calendar for the day he was born)

So blessed and so humbled, that out of all women throughout time,

he picked me to bring him into this mortal world.

That such a choice amazing spirit trusted me.

I am eternally grateful to miss and mister

for the life and eternal family they have given him,

that he will have forever.

Foolio, you suck

How do you get over having loved someone that just wants to hurt you.
That draws his power from your tears.
How do you get over having loved someone that doesn’t see that you are worth loving.
That crushes you with your own fears.
That only calls to blame, smash, and vindicate
Himself from life, from his choices and most of all your hate.
He sees life as what it does to him, not what he makes of it
He sees you as what you aren’t to him, not how you shine in spite of it.
I am here and I am great, now you leave and let me be
Go and take your dark glasses far from my bright eternity
You lost this race and almost killed the prize
But I am stronger than you know and greater than I even recognize
In your eyes my worth does not lie,
It screams its truth and standard to live and never die.
I rise from the fire of my masters refining hands,
To Him I am perfect, amazing and just how he planned,
For he is the true judge of all, for our reflection
In his eyes, I am his daughter, His perfection.

Just a little rage writing to tighten the lid on the jar of that bee hive. It feels so good to let him have it, he has earned it and I don't feel guilty saying it.You know who I'm talking about. (For this instance he shall be known as Foolio.)On the other end, I love my man upstairs. I like to think that he is mine and only mine, and you guys all pray to some other guy that takes care of you. He is mine, and I am his favorite! :)